The Week Before Break

I didn't blog every day this week, which is a bummer to me because I wanted to keep up with documenting every day. So here's a quick recap (more for myself than anyone else).

I was nervous on Monday about coming back post-Sandy Hook tragedy, and just as I knew they would, my kids brought it up. Unfortunately, despite warning the parents that this would happen, about half of the kids didn't know anything about it. So then it was left to me to briefly explain what happened. I was able to explain it quickly, assure them that it happened far away and that they're safe, and then move on. To be honest, I was emotionally fragile all day, and so were a few of my kids. 

On Tuesday, I had a sub and spent the day pulling kids out one at a time to do a math assessment with them. While I was testing Nathan, he got one of the questions right very quickly and I asked him how he knew the answer. "I've been doing math," he said. "I just get my volcano started." I asked what his volcano was. He answered, "It's in my head. It tells me what six plus six is... and it tells me what all math is. It only starts when I'm fast." 
Later, when Kendal saw the number 100, she exclaimed, "100! My favorite number! But my real favorite number is a whole week off for a thousand days." That's my favorite number too, Kendal.

What is sweet and wonderful about first graders is that they actually love school so much that they were all sad about winter break coming. And also offended that I was excited for it. Sorry, buddies, I love you. But I need a break. See you next year! 

Innocence Lost

I first heard about the Sandy Hook tragedy during lunch on Friday from my co-worker, who had heard second-hand from someone else. We didn't know much. I made the mistake of looking at cnn.com before I picked my kids up from recess, and then had a hard time pulling myself back together. None of the kids knew about it until after school that day.

I usually try not to engage too much in the media surrounding these kinds of tragedies, mostly because I have a hard time emotionally handling it. But it's different with this one. It hits too close to home for me. I see stories about Victoria Soto who was a first grade teacher in her late twenties, and I can't help but relate to her. I can only hope and pray that I would be as brave and protective as she was in that situation. I see pictures and stories about the children, all twenty of them first graders, and I can't help but think of each and every one of my own students. I think about the lockdown drill we spent months talking about, and I want to know more details about what happened because I want to know what I would have or should have done had I been there.

I've always taken some comfort in working at an elementary school. When we talk about Columbine and the other school shootings that have happened in my very own district, I think to myself, "Those are high schools. Or even middle schools. Not elementary schools - that would never happen here." It is absolutely incomprehensible to me that it did.

I am dreading going to school tomorrow morning. I know my students, and I know that they'll bring it up. When we had to practice the lockdown drill, they wanted to talk about it for hours. When there was a kidnapping and murder nearby, they wanted to talk about that extensively too. As a result, my sweet little Kendal is too scared to go to the bathroom by herself because "a bad guy might be in there." I don't remember having these kinds of fears as a child. I was scared of the dark and of ghosts, but there was no such thing as a school shooting. The first national tragedy I can remember was the Oklahoma City bombing, which was when I was in 5th grade. Columbine happened my freshmen year of high school. I didn't grow up with these kinds of things as a reality, we didn't have lockdown drills. I feel like there is a saddening amount of innocence lost for these children who now have every right to fear going to the movies, walking in their neighborhoods, and going to school. It is absolutely heartbreaking to me.

My goal for tomorrow, should it be brought up, is to acknowledge their feelings or fears, encourage them that everyone in our school works hard to ensure their safety, and then not dwell on it. I want for us to be able to focus on fun and learning and Christmas and everything good this week. 

In the meantime, I'll continue to pray for Sandy Hook and for our world. I am especially grateful in times like these to have faith in something bigger and better than the life we have on this earth. 

Nathan's Dogs

Nathan was telling me about his dogs this morning, and now I will share what I learned with you:

He has four dogs. 

The oldest one is really old, and she seemed like she might die, but she's okay. 

All of them are really sad because they're still thinking about tornadoes. 

How I Became a Pirate

A glimpse into my morning conversations: 

Everett: "Hey... I just noticed that you're a big person and you have small ears. They're small. And you're big. That's funny."



We went on a field trip today to go see a locally performed musical, "How I Became a Pirate." It was really cute, and the kids were fairly good audience members, except for the part when Presley was crying loudly because Abbie pinched her fingers or something. Then she sat in my lap for the rest of the performance.

After the show, we stayed at the center and played on the playground for a bit while we waited for the bus. There is a giant sculpture of a sea monster that spans the entire playground, and you can climb all over it. As a child, I would have been absolutely enthralled with it. I kind of was as an adult. At one point I heard Johnny yelling my name, and looked over to find this: 

He was literally stuck on the tip of the sea monster's tail. And yes, I stopped to take a picture before I helped him down. 

Productivity

I decided to take the day off today to get some things done. So while my kids were busy with the sub, I got my oil changed, did all of my Christmas shopping, went to the bank, and had a dentist appointment. It was a very productive day, and it made me feel like a good and responsible adult. I may have children kill spiders for me, but at least sometimes I can take care of myself.

Magic from Nathan

During our morning meeting today, Nathan looked up at me and said, "Hey... you're magic..." Apparently he had some sort of rash on his leg that was going away, which he attributed to me being magic and taking care of that for him. When some of the kids laughed, I said, "Maybe I am magic... How do you know?" Gavin looked at me very seriously and replied, "Because you're not a musician." 

Another great moment with Nathan happened later in the day during reading groups. Nathan was supposed to have written the word used, but instead wrote something like "nsd." I asked Nathan why he had an 'n' in there if the word is 'used' and he said, 

"I wrote nused." 

"Nused is not a word, Nathan." 

"Yes, it is." 

"Okay then use it in a sentence."

"I nused... candy." 

Amelie

Nothing really funny or interesting happened today, but I want to tell you about my little Amelie because she's cute and I love her. And because today I decided to make her my Top Cougar of December which is an award given to kids who are outstanding students.

I knew I loved Amelie right away because she shares a name with one of my all-time favorite movies. She is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, precious little Swedish angel. Even though she's not a native English speaker, she's my best writer and one of my top readers. She is also the only girl who plays soccer with all of the boys everyday. Overall, she's a way cooler person than I could ever hope to be.

This week, my love for Amelie grew because of two awesome things: 

1. All she wants for Christmas is a nutcracker. A girl nutcracker with a crown. That's it, nothing else.

2. She made me this: 

It's a lion/monster made out of fuzz balls, delivered to me wrapped in a piece of felt.

Dude

Presley, who is habitually faking sickness among other things, has been really ramping it up lately. She complains constantly about her stomach hurting, and despite me reading The Boy Who Cried Wolf to them, she continues to do so. I told her that if she really is having stomach problems all the time then she ought to go see a doctor because it might be something serious. She didn't have much of a response to that. But on our way in from recess today, she yelled several times, "There is too much gas in me!!" She just needed everyone to know.

During reading groups, we're working on a big poster about Jan Brett's Wild Christmas Reindeer book. Nathan was putting in minimal effort when it came to his illustration, and every time I told him that he just needs to try his best, he told me that he never tries his best. And he seemed very fine with that. Well he finally put more details in his drawing, and I said, "See! Look how nice it is when you try!" To which Nathan replied, "I'm not trying, dude. I'm just looking in my brain."

Rotten Meat

We had ELF again today, which is where a few parent volunteers come in and teach the kids  for two hours while I get time to plan/organize/do whatever I want. That, along with it being an early release day, made for a very easy and enjoyable Wednesday. 

For math we've been working on coloring in a quilt pattern, which is obviously way more fun than most kinds of math. While working on his quilt, Jake said to me, "I don't want to be rotten meat." After I asked Jake to repeat himself to make sure I heard him right, I replied, "Then don't be rotten meat." He threw his hands in the air and said, "You don't get it, do you?? I just want to keep doing my pattern forever and ever!" 

I guess I must have missed something there. 

Christmas Sing-Along

Today was the school holiday choir concert, which is one of my most favorite things about working in an elementary school. The choir is open to fourth, fifth, and sixth graders, and so some of my post precious babies from last year are in it. They sang several Christmas songs, and then the audience got to join in for a sing along. Singing Christmas carols with a room full of hundreds of children may be one of the most heart-warming things ever! 

Quotes

My favorite quotes of the day: 

Kendal: "Presley's scratch on her face creeps me out." 

Nathan: "I'm really into objects today."