Happy Halloween!!

I love Halloween. I love dressing up and I love candy. I was Dooneese - Kristen Wiig's SNL Lawrence Welk show character with tiny hands - for Saturday night festivities. But that costume didn't really feel school appropriate, so I went through all of my costume clothes last night to put something else together. I combined a skirt from being a dragon-ballerina, a shirt from being a tree, and my gold wings from being a snitch and called myself a tree fairy. I think it worked. I put it on during lunch (because we weren't allowed to wear them all day), and went to pick up my kids, and they were all very excited and showered me with compliments. Except that they kept calling me Tinkerbell. I am decidedly not a fan of Tinkerbell, so I was sure to distinguish the difference. 

After we came inside, Anna and Kelsey told me, "A boy in the other class said you weren't pretty." And I said, "Okay. But you don't need to tell me that." They proceeded to tell me at least two more times.

The kids were absolutely adorable! Presley was Taylor Swift - complete with cowboy boots, pink guitar, and long wavy blonde hair. We sang a couple of T Swift songs together earlier in the day. It was a real bonding moment.

We had a wide range of kittens, pirates, princesses, Star Wars characters, and so on. And we got to spend our afternoon having a parade around the school to see everyone else's costumes - which is something that I wish adults would have too. 

Happy Halloween!! 

Um, about this blog thing...

My original intention with this blog was to have a place to put all of my thoughts about this year - the funny stories, the frustrations, the hardships, all of it. The last three months haven't been easy for me, for a variety of reasons - some of which I'm feeling very unaware of and trying to figure out. Teaching first grade was never my dream job, but I decided to take on the challenge this year in hopes that I could eventually get back to teaching older kids. I just wanted this blog to be a place for me to process all of the craziness of this year and share it with my friends and family. I never wanted or intended for strangers to read this. I only share little snippets of my day, not my whole day, and I don't think this blog in any way gives a good or clear picture of who I am or what kind of teacher I am. Even when the posts are about my frustrations or mistakes, I want it to be known that I deeply love and care about my students and treat them as such. 

Tonight I came home after a rough day and wrote a post about a mistake I made and about how terribly awful I felt about it. I posted it in the mindset that the people who would read it are people that know and love me and understand where I'm coming from. Instead I got a comment from a stranger (I'm assuming) that totally dragged me down. I know I am sometimes negative on here (although in looking back on my posts, I think that the majority of them revolve around the cute/hilarious/bizarre parts of first grade), and I have been actively pursuing positivity and gratitude because I don't like being as negative/complain-y as I've been. Often when I get around to this at the end of the day, and my energy is absolutely drained, the complaints are all that I have left. And for that I apologize. What I might call "keeping it real" can absolutely be perceived as ungrateful whining. And that's not who I want to be.

So, um, if you don't know me, please don't read my blog. I'm not writing it for you. I'm writing it for my friends who I don't get to talk to everyday and who like to read this, or so they tell me. Please also know that I am a very loving, gentle, and affectionate teacher (at least most of the time) and I am working myself sick trying to make sure these kids learn and grow as much as possible. So please don't judge me for being crabby sometimes. And if I continue blogging (which I am considering not doing), I'll try and just keep to the positive stuff and save the frustrations for people who understand me and who understand how difficult it is to be a teacher. 

The end.

I like wor herr

This morning Nathan handed me a plain white piece of paper with this note written on it: 

I had to ask him to read it to me, and apparently it says: "Miss G, I like your hair and you are pretty." 

There are definitely some nice things about teaching first grade. 

Not a Fan

Fridays are always the best days. Not only because the weekend is almost finally here, but also because we get to have things like free-choice time and study buddies. I'm sure I've already mentioned this, but our Friday afternoon time with our fourth grade buddies is my favorite part of the week. Six of my favorite former students are in our buddy class, and I love being able to see them and chat with them every week. Today we played a math game with our buddies where they needed to make a prediction of what number this spinner would land on the most. Kendal (who recently didn't want to answer a math problem correctly because the boy was right) showed me her paper when she was finished. She was supposed to write about whether or not her prediction was correct. Instead she wrote something along the lines of: "I don't want it to be 4 because I am not a fan." I asked her what she had written and she said, "I'm not a fan of 4." "You don't like the number 4?" I asked. She adamantly shook her head and said no, and made an expression that let me know she was very serious about this. I asked her why not, and she said, "Because I'm little. I don't like 4 because I'm little." She's still my favorite. 

Uuggghhhhh

We've been in school for 47 days. It feels like a million.

Only 130-something to go. It feels like millions of millions.

Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. 

Can I just have a job that involves listening to Taylor Swift all day and emailing my friends about it? I'm totally serious. That's what I want out of life right now.

Blackout!

At about 9:00 this morning, we had a blackout. My classroom is an interior room, meaning that the one and only tiny window that I do have goes out to the hallway. Luckily the emergency light came on, but it only cast a small area of dim light in my room. Also luckily I had two parent volunteers in the room at the time. I tried to get the kids to sit still and listen to a story, but they seriously couldn't handle it. They were all holding hands and cuddling up next to each other because they were scared or something. Then someone declared that they needed to go to the bathroom, and then they ALL desperately needed to use the bathroom right that second. The girls' bathroom emergency light didn't come on, making it pitch black in there, so I sent one of the moms in with my phone to use as a flashlight. Eventually I decided to just take the kids outside (as did about half of the other teachers) for some early recess time. At 9:45 the lights came back on and I was honestly disappointed. I knew I couldn't get any teaching done with the lights out, but I was kind of hoping for our afternoon of meetings to be cancelled. Oh well.

During our (three and half hour) afternoon of meetings, we were looking over a writing prompt we had given our kids the week before. Reading first grade writing is a skill that I think I'm fairly good at, but sometimes I have absolutely no idea. Just take a look at this gem: 

The prompt was to "tell about a time when you were happy." Here is how I read this: "When I was a ??. A ?? is fun. Whenever to. In the past too. In the future." You really nailed it, Josh.

The Gig is Up!

I'm not going to lie, I hated today. It was partially my own fault - I saw Cloud Atlas last night (so crazy! so good!) and then stayed up way too late reading and thinking about it. So I came to school already very tired, and none too excited to be there, and I think that contributed to my annoyance with the kids. Not to mention that they were extremely chatty and obnoxious and it was my first time dealing with Johnny in a week.

Anyway.

My students constantly and consistently ask if the can go to the clinic (the nurse). It might be for a little scratch or a stomach ache or something they need ice for. (Side note: They seem to need ice for everything! Bruises, bumps, a piece of dust in their eye, headaches... Ice feels awful on headaches, you fakers!) I usually try and convince them that they don't need to go to the clinic - because they don't - but will eventually let them go if it seems necessary, or if I am just sick enough of them asking. Well today as I was walking them in from recess, from behind me I heard Presley say, "Anna, let's go to the clinic tomorrow." Um, excuse me?! I just kept walking and said loudly, "I heard you Presley!" And then I let her know that I'll never let her go to the clinic again unless she's actually bleeding or throwing up. Is that reasonable? 

My Day Off

I didn't go into work today so that I could sit and listen to Taylor Swift's new album all day. 

Just kidding. Kind of.

I had already planned on taking today off (and stayed at work until almost 6:00 on Friday to make sub plans for it) in anticipation of the birth of my niece. My sister-in-law was scheduled for a c-section today, but on Saturday morning, miss Adalene Valery decided to make her debut early!!

Now that this little lady exists in the world, I'm not too interested in much else. I would mostly just like to hang out with her, even though she pretty much just sleeps all the time.

Since everything was already lined up with my sub, I decided to just keep my day off today, and it was delightful! I immediately downloaded the new Taylor Swift album when I woke up, which I have listened to all day and am loving! (Except that, emotionally, I could have really used this album three months ago. Oh well.) 

I took some time to clean a bit, take care of some bills, visit my niece and her parents in the hospital, and then spend time with my life-long friend Caitlin who is visiting from San Diego. All in all, it was a beautiful day, and I loved it about a million times more than being at school. Which feels sad to say, because I used to really miss my kids when I'd take days off. I do hope that I can get to that place of enjoyment with my job with my first graders. In the meantime, I'll just squeeze in as much T Swift time and, more importantly, Adalene time as I can when I'm not at work.

Miles and Miles and Miles

Today Gavin was sharing some writing he did about a time that he went cliff jumping on a family vacation, and this exchange happened: 

(As you read this, please keep in mind that Gavin says his r's and l's as w's, which makes it all the more precious.)

Me: "How high was the cliff you jumped off of?"
Gavin: "Well... it was probably like... 20 miles?"
Me, shaking my head: "No."
Gavin: "Well... like 10 miles?"
Me, still shaking my head: "No."
Gavin: "Well probably at least a mile." 

Word of the Day

Much like Sesame Street, except way less fun, everyday we have a word of the day. All this really means is that the kids copy the word and write sentences with it in this book first thing in the morning. Then we put the word on our word wall and we take a few minutes to give examples of sentences that use the word. Today our word was 'if,' and Rylyn shared the following sentence: "If you are not nice to me, I will still be nice to you." This is not Rylyn's actual M.O., but I was proud of her for saying that, so I gave her a lot of praise and said it was "the best sentence I had ever heard." Every other kid in the class wanted that same kind of praise, so all of the next sentences I heard went something like: "If you don't love me, I'll still love you," "I will be your friend even if you are a girl or a boy," and "If you'll be my friend, I'll be your friend." And then Emily said, "If you are black, I'll still love you." 

What?!?

Guess how I handled it? I totally brushed it under the rug and moved on. Because what do you say to that? I can't be like, "That's called racism. We need to treat everyone the same!" because that's what she's saying herself! 

Sorry, everyone, if I really failed there. 

I Don't Like Boys

We had a math problem today that read something like this: 

There was a fish tank that held 6 fish - some big, some little.

Max said there could be 2 big fish and 4 little fish.

Rosa said there could be 1 big fish and 4 little fish.

Who is right? 

I was working on this with Kendal, and she originally wrote that Rosa was correct. We talked through it and figured out the math, but then Kendal said, "But I wanted Rosa to be right!" I asked her why, and she replied, "I don't want Max to be right, because he's a boy and I don't like boys!" For a long time, she seriously refused to change her answer even though she knew it was wrong. I even tried to convince her by saying, "Max could be a girl! Jessica Simpson has a baby girl named Max," but she wasn't going for it. She finally changed her answer, but wrote 'Max' in her absolute worst handwriting on purpose. It was awesome. 

Follow Your Heart

Today I read a version of The Princess and the Pea to my little ones. The Prince had met many beautiful princesses but was not in love with any of them - he was looking for just the right one, his "perfect princess." At this point in the story, Johnny loudly interrupted, "You're the perfect princess!" And the rest of the class enthusiastically agreed. The princess in the picture has long brown hair with bangs, which was very exciting for everyone as they yelled, "It's you! You're the perfect princess!" I didn't hate it. 

During recess, Presley approached me ready to tattle on someone (you can just tell when that's their intention). She said, "Kendal is crying because Rylyn told her to just follow her heart!! Isn't that so mean?" So mean. 

Babies and Puppies

I had my post-observation conference with my principal today. She had a lot of really positive things to say about my teaching, which was wonderfully comforting. I am feeling so so lucky to have such an amazing principal this year! It really makes a world of difference. 

I feel like I'm running out of cute and funny stories to tell. Maybe because I'm becoming cynical or maybe because their annoying tendencies are overshadowing any cuteness. 

Today, as Zoe was coming over to my table for reading groups, I saw something bright green peek out of her mouth for a second. I asked her what was in her mouth, and she just stood there and stared at me and refused to move or say anything or open her mouth at all for several minutes. I just kept asking her what she had in there, like she was an actual baby. Or a puppy. Except that with a baby or puppy I would just force their mouth open and stick my hand in there, but I obviously couldn't do that with her. Eventually, probably because she could see that I was getting seriously mad, she spit a little beaded bracelet out of her mouth. 

Oh the joys of teaching first grade!

Tough Stuff

This last week of work turned out to be pretty emotionally difficult. Last Wednesday at our staff meeting, we had to talk about our lockdown drill practice, which is what we do if there is an intruder in the building. I work in the same district as Columbine High School, and also the district Jessica Ridgeway went to school in. If you don't live in Colorado and hadn't heard, Jessica was kidnapped over a week ago, and her body was found this last Thursday. So on Friday, everyone in the district was asked to wear purple in memory/ hope for Jessica (they hadn't confirmed anything by then). Plus, I needed to prepare my students for our lockdown drill that might be taking place tomorrow. What this all accumulated in was an hour-plus discussion about how to try and keep ourselves safe in a number of scenarios. I seriously hate talking about all of this - it makes my heart pound and my stomach hurt, and I had tears waiting right below the surface. The kids had dozens of 'what if' questions, some of which I didn't even know how to answer. I didn't want to scare the kids - they are only six years old - but it's also necessary to prepare them the best I can. I think if anything it all scared me more than them. 

Please be praying for Jessica Ridgeway's family and friends. And that her killer would be caught quickly. Seriously. 



But here's something light-hearted too: I was reading a picture book about a bear who was scared, and the other animals were giving him hugs. Jake said, "They should give him bear kisses! My sister and I do bear kisses!" I asked what bear kisses were, and he stuck his whole tongue out and licked the air like it was an ice cream cone a few times. Gross. 

Scientific Facts

I had my first of three formal observations by my principal today. This is something that you grow very accustomed to in your first few (several?) years of teaching. Last year, I was observed by the principal who hired me right before she left her position mid-year. It went terribly. She interrupted me several times throughout the lesson, made me feel like I had done a terrible job, and then never actually wrote an evaluation for me before she left because she was totally checked-out by that point. Fast forward to last March, in the middle of me thinking I no longer had a job at my school, I got observed three times in one month (in the middle of state testing) by a very intimidating evaluator that I didn't even know. All of this is to say that having my principal, who I greatly respect and truly like, come in today felt like a breeze comparatively. I think it went well, and she even left a really kind note in my mailbox saying some great things she saw and that we'll talk more on Monday. 

I must have been holding a lot of tension or anxiety or something in leading up to my observation because after it was over I was totally exhausted. I was supposed to teach math, but just could not bring myself to do it. So instead of saving our video that went along with ELF for Friday, like I intended to, we watched it today. It was about photosynthesis, and as we talked about it after the video, our discussion somehow took a turn towards talking about planets and stars and the rotation of the earth. And then every kid wanted to share the amazing scientific facts they knew - like how "that line in the middle of the globe (the equator) is really hot because all of the lava from inside the earth is coming out of it." I might be the most scientifically-challenged adult I know, but at least I knew that was way off base.

Later in the day, we were talking about families for social studies, and one of my babies raised her hand and asked, "What if both your mom and your dad are in jail?" I already knew this about her, and that she lives with her aunt, but had never talked about it with her at all. While the rest of the kids were writing about their families, I pulled her aside to have a chat. Her aunt had mentioned during conferences that her mother would be getting out soon, which frankly makes me a little nervous for how that's going to affect my student. After asking her just a couple of questions, the floodgates opened and she kept telling me story after story, all of which were heartbreaking to one degree or another. I let her know that whenever she is feeling sad or angry (which I can see in her often) she can come talk to me. About fifteen minutes after we talked, she came up to me and said, "Thank you for letting me talk to you about my family," and it took everything I had not to burst into tears.

One of the most overwhelming things about this job for me is how much I grow to love these little people, and how little control I have over what their lives look like. 

ELF

We had ELF this morning - Environmental Learning for the Future. Or something. ELF is basically the best thing ever. A group of volunteer parents come in and run a bunch of hands-on science stations for the kids, leaving me free to get some work done for about two hours. Unfortunately, it only happens every six weeks or so, which is not nearly often enough in my opinion. Afterwards, a few of the parents talked to me about what a handful my class is, and how they "don't know how I do it." Me neither, ladies. Me neither.

Keon and Jake have started pretending that their water bottles are beer bottles... I think. They keep cheers-ing each other and then taking a big dramatic swig of water. Then they giggle a whole lot and slouch while they sit. 

What do I even do with this?! 

Mommies Don't Have Bones

For our social studies unit, we are talking about characteristics of ourselves. We made two different bubble maps about ourselves - one describing the way we look and another describing who we are on the inside. As I was modeling how to do it by making bubble maps about myself, Josh recommended, "You have bones! On the inside." Obviously, totally not getting it. I responded, "Well, all people have bones, and we're talking about things that  describe me and help make me unique." Then Johnny chimed in, "Mummies don't have bones!" Except I thought he said mommies. And mummies do have bones, Johnny.

On a totally different note, I'm trying to focus my non-work life on getting healthier. I have gained at least 5 pounds since school started, due to all of the stress and eating my feelings. One time in Seattle, I was watching a really awesome made-for-tv movie with Julie and Laura about Nikki Blonsky being fat. There was a scene where she ran home crying, threw open the freezer, and dramatically sobbed into her ice cream while she ate it. It was hilarious, but seriously this is how I feel sometimes. So, yesterday I started myself back on healthy eating habits, and today I actually went to the gym - a minor miracle. My high school reunion is in about 6 weeks, which also feels like a good motivator to get my ass in shape. I'm thinking this might also be the appropriate time to do Jillian's 30 Day Shred for a real 30 days - something I have tried and failed to do numerous times. Now I just have to figure out how to leave work early enough to stay on top of this.

Unusual Suspects

It seems like if my usual offenders (Johnny and Everett) are trying to be on their best behavior, which they were today, then other kids feel the need to take over that role in our room. Rylyn is usually a very good little one, but decided to be rude and hide Abbie's coupons from her today. And then lie about it. And Keon, who is normally pretty quiet, was in quite the mood. During our (first ever) reading groups today, he was being a little jokester and then leaned over and smugly whispered in my ear, "I'm sarcastic." 

We've finished our science unit, which is good since all of fish died anyway, and are moving on to social studies - learning about cultures and traditions. I'm discovering that these babies have no idea the difference between states and countries. I was explaining that three of our students have parents from different countries - Philip's parents are from Korea, Amelie's from France and Sweden, and Nathan's dad is from Slovenia. We even talked about how they speak different languages and come from different cultures. To which the kids started responding, "My dad is from Idaho! My mom is from Florida!" I feel like this unit is going to open up a whole world of misconceptions. 

Career Choices

I was too sleepy to post on Friday and have managed to procrastinate it until now - late on Sunday night, trying to put off Monday morning for as long as possible.

Friday was good. This whole mean tough teacher thing seems to be working. Like I said, it is absolutely draining and exhausting, but I am feeling much happier overall.

We had our first Friday free-choice time for my seven students who had next-to-perfect behavior, while the other 15 kiddos went to my teammate's room to write about the poor choices they were making. I received a pile of apology letters, which were sweet. Except look at Kendal's: 

What?! I can read "Dear" and  her name at the end. That is all.

Earlier in the day, we were working on our All About Me books and discussing what we want to be when we grow up. Most of the kids wanted to be whatever their parents are, and there were some pretty normal answers: lawyer, work for the mayor, police officer, painter, doctor, dolphin trainer, etc. Jake said he wanted to be in the FBI, and then everyone wanted to be in the FBI. And of course there were also some funny ones: cowgirl, famous, an artist who makes 3,000 bucks, and (my favorite) a maid. Dream big, babies! 

Really Doing It

Well, I'm really doing it. Today I was as strict as can be. On our behavior chart, I usually only have two or three kids each day who need to move their names, and today I had 15. Not because they were being unusually bad, but because I was being unusually rigid and tough. Those 15 kids will spend choice-time writing about their behavior tomorrow, while my 7 who stayed on green (assuming they can also stay there tomorrow morning), will get to play for 30 minutes. Guess whether or not I had some tears? Kendal just about lost it. She told me later, "Do you know what I'm going to do when I get home? I'm going to put down my backpack, walk down the tile hallway, go to my room, and cry." I think she may have been trying to guilt me into giving her free choice time back. It's not happening. But I still love her.

As exhausting (and sometimes unreasonable-feeling) as this new rigidity is, I am much happier than I was before. And we actually got to have some time to learn today! So there you have it.

I am now done with parent-teacher conferences (besides three that went rogue and are next week) and got home from work well after 7:00 tonight. Pooped, pooped, pooped. 

Happy Anniversary!

One year ago today, I started working at my school. I am incredibly blessed to have a job at such a wonderfully supportive and incredible school. I work with such positive, caring, helpful, kind, and inspirational people. We have one of the most involved, thoughtful, and understanding parent communities imaginable. I genuinely hope that I will still be here in a year, and for many, many years to come. 

I know I've been complaining a lot lately, but everything I just said is one hundred percent true, and I don't want to forget one bit of that. I do not by any means take this job for granted. I am truly blessed.

This morning I went to observe a first grade classroom at another school in our district. As a new(ish) teacher, I am given a couple of half-days to go observe for the sake of professional development. I left my observation with 3 pages full of awesome ideas to try and implement in my classroom, which is both exciting and overwhelmingly daunting. The classroom I was in was ridiculously amazing, especially in terms of the students' behavior. They were practically silent all day, following directions, respectful, and on task. In my class's defense, though, they only had 13 students. 13! That's just unrealistic. 

While I was at my observation, my kiddos had the same sub that came on Monday, and who I now owe a whole bucket of treats. She is amazing and totally laid down the law with them. She started keeping tally marks on the board every time they talked, and got to nearly 100. Not even kidding. I came back to a quiet classroom full of students who were on task and working. I did my best to keep it going through the afternoon, and they did a pretty good job keeping up with it, but boy is it exhausting! I can't be off my game for even a second.

And then I ended my day with a good old round of parent-teacher conferences. I have the other half to do tomorrow still, but so far so good. 

So, yep. I'll just keep on keeping on.

I guess I have a lot to say today...

A trip to Seattle was exactly what my heart needed. I had the most wonderful birthday weekend I could have hoped for! I stayed with Laura and Mike, who are such cherished and wonderful friends, and they spoiled me with gifts and meals and play-time with kittens. I was able to reconnect with quite a few old friends and just breathe in every bit of Seattle that I could. Plus, Mount Rainier was out every day I was there, which is a real treat! Lucky, lucky me.

Instead of spending the day with my crazy little first graders, I spent Monday with my favorite people from when I taught in Washington. The majority of my day was spent with my old work-BFF, Lindsey, and the two adorable baby boys that she's had since I moved away two years ago. It was such a blessing to just hang out and talk with her again, even in the midst of the craziness that is now her life. I desperately miss working with Lindsey and being able to talk to her on a regular basis, so that time was very precious to me. In the afternoon, I actually got to meet up with a few of my old students. Three years ago, I had my first full-time teaching job with sixth graders, who are all now ninth graders, whether I like it or not. I realize that meeting up with your old students is not exactly a normal thing for most (or any?) teachers to do. But the way that my heart operates is that once you're important to me, you always are. And the few girls that I met up with were seriously important to me, even if they were/are sometimes awkward and act like they don't even want to see me. But sweet Sophia, who is brilliant and beautiful and admirable, showed up with a gift (including a glass vile with rocks and water from Green Lake in it!!!) and actually started crying because she was so happy to see me. And then I cried too, obviously. It just reaffirmed for me how much I miss being able to have that kind of connection with my students. I think that's why I'm having such a hard time with these little first graders - they are sweet and cute, but we will never be able to connect on that deeper level like I did with my sixth graders (and a few of my third graders too). I miss the kind of relationship that I could have with my students, which seriously looked so different from what I am able to have this year. 

Anyway.

I came back to find out that my students had been pretty awful for our sub, and Everett took two trips to the office, which is a first. My sub is in our building all of the time, and had even subbed for my kids before, and said the following: 

"You have no reason to think that you are not succeeding with these kids - they are impervious to any kind of verbal directions (that last more than 20 seconds) for the most part. Sorry to say, but you have a very tough group of kids that do not follow directions very well." 

It is actually quite comforting to know that I am not the only one who thinks or sees this. 

I also came back to find this: 

Apparently my fish didn't survive the weekend. I'm actually really sad about Spiky - we had a good thing going. 

So maybe it was because I was sad about leaving Seattle and sad about Spiky and tired as hell, but the kids absolutely broke me today. I cried. Yep, it happened. 

We spent so much of our day relearning how to behave - how to transition to and from the carpet, how to work quietly at our seats, how to read silently, how to play math games, etc, etc. And this afternoon I spent 5 minutes getting them silent (which is nearly impossible), and bribed them with "smiley points" for staying quiet while they packed up, and they didn't even make it ten seconds. After a whole day of this kind of crap, I just lost it. I didn't let them see that I was crying, and they wouldn't have noticed anyway because they were so busy acting like raving lunatics. Then while they were in P.E., I really let it all out to my teammate and special ed teacher.

I am just so frustrated. I feel like I am trying everything I know and have learned when it comes to management, taking in all of the advice that I'm getting, and it's actually getting worse. They just don't. stop. talking. And they don't respond to me at all - when I'm trying to get their attention or trying to tell them something important or trying to teach them or trying to get them to shut up. It's absolutely disrespectful, and they totally don't get it. And I just keep thinking, I have to do a whole year of this?!? I just don't even see how that's possible. Eight more months... it just might kill me.

Here's to hoping that some more sleep helps me keep myself together...